physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
