I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
