It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
