Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
