im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my shit smells like andre
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
