Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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