i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
