Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
