She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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