dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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