making cat noises will not fix the situation.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize