dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
