I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time