i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.