I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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