I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
