No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
they call him Oral-B. enough said
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
