Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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