Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
