You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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