toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I cannot find my penis.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
