Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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