New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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