it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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