do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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