Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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