I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
