the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
