Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
