Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
