I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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