An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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