the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize