You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Drunk is a universal language darling
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize