the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
