Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
