I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
