Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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