i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
