Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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