I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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