Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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