im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
