put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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