Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
