so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
