ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
