If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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