we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
