The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
don't judge my taste in strippers
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
