Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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