Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
