I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
