Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
