when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize