I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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