when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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