Banned from zoo.
Again?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
