and she was petting her beer can
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
