how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
