official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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