im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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