Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle