: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
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He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
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it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am