Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
