so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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